It's over...

... it's all over.

And it did not end how I expected it to. I knew that my DR was calling this a chemical pregnancy. I never thought that a chemical pregnancy could make it to 5 weeks. Let alone make it to almost 6 weeks. On thursday (5w5d) I had some spotting. I knew it was coming, so that night I made sure to start taking 'period precautions'.  I figured this would last like my regular period, 3-4 days, maybe heavier than what I am used to, but that is not what happened.

Thursday it was spotting.
Friday, getting heavy with clots.
Saturday, heavy with clots.
Sunday, heavy with clots.
Monday, heavy with clots, one being very large.
Tuesday, spotting, then a slight heavy flow with another clot.
Wednesday, just very light spotting.

Seven days? Really? I know that 7 days is not horrible. But I had pumped myself up into thinking that this would be just like a regular period. I cramped everyday. Some were sharp, and others reminded me of the cramps after my D&C. That was the one thing that reminded me everyday that this is a miscarriage. That I was losing another baby. The baby may not have gotten as far as the last, but a baby none the less.

So now that this has ended (or so I hope) I am starting a process to move on. After this cycle ends and I begin the new one I need to call my RE to schedule the RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss) work up. Hopefully that will all start happening by the end of February, so we hope to be given the go to try again by April or May. In the meantime I am TRYING (key word trying) to lose at least 15lbs before we start trying again. And then keep up the diet while we wait for another BFP. Of course losing more than 15lbs before April is very welcomed.