CD22...DPO?

I didn't chart this month. I started to but then I got lazy. So I have no idea when I ovulated. The latest I've ovulated was CD18 (month we got pregnant) So I would assume ovulation is over and now I have to wait... for something or nothing. But I really don't think this month worked out for us. Not to sound like a downer...I just don't.
Since my last post J and I have officially become foster parents. Well, as far as the license goes... We are so excited to start taking in children, but we plan on waiting for money to be more stable. (When J isn't getting 'laid off' often) In the meantime we plan on stocking up on different gender and size clothing, different sized diapers, shoes, socks. Since the first month of taking a child in it takes a while before we receive money to help with the childs expenses, we want to have quite a few things already here for them to use.
I am still grieving our baby. And it is getting to be hard to watch others enjoy their pregnancy while I am just empty. I am ready to stop feeling like this, but I am not sure when that will happen.
James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

CD 1....

Enough said with the title.

In other news.. J and I will have our final walk-through on monday. Which is also our 1 year anniversary!! I can't believe it will be one whole year that i have been married to this guy... he is amazing! God gave me a great gift when he gave me him.
We are excited for the final walk through. By the end of the week we basically could get phone calls... I am so ready to take care of a child and give them the love they need and deserve. I am praying that we could take in a child before christmas.
But that all depends on if we even get called...and then if we meet the child's needs, can we accommodate them in our home? I am so nervous! A good nervous though.


Open your mouth for those who cannot speak, and for the rights of those who are left without help. Open your mouth. Be right and fair in what you decide. Stand up for the rights of those who are suffering and in need. 
- Proverbs 31: 8-9

CD23/DPO7

I couldn't take it. I walked away when I heard of pregnancy being spoken. It Hurts. I am so sick of this pain. I cried in the car while I was playing K-Love (I decided it could help me stay calm during 2ww to focus on God) I understand that everything happens for a reason and that I may not know this reason for a long time. I think that is what makes it most difficult! 

Hug Addison extra tight for me God, also, hug J and I. We need your comfort. 

CD22/DPO6

Blahhh The past two days I cried so much, sad part is... I DON'T KNOW WHY!!

But today I kept thinking of my first BFP... seeing Pregnant. When will I see that again? I know this is only our first month trying again but... it took 6 months last time, I'd rather it doesn't again.

Addison, please send mommy a brother or sister of yours..